11 Steps for Anger Management
Photo by Marco Trassini
“Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.”
1. Identify triggers. Recognize that we all have triggers that set us off. It may be heavy traffic, or being late for an appointment, or the neighbor’s barking dog. By recognizing triggers, you can take action to modulate any angry feelings.
2. Evaluate your anger. Not all anger is a signal to rush to calmness. Sometimes anger is a sign that something has to change. See it as an opportunity for growth and improving your life.
3. Once you are calm, express your anger. Communicate your anger by expressing your frustration and what you may need.
4. Get some exercise. Exercise is a great way to rid ourselves of stress, and stress can make us more susceptible to angry outbursts. Exercise also keeps us in a more positive state of mind.
5. Take a time out. If things feel out of control, take a time out. Take action by changing your perspective, such as taking a short walk or get a breath of fresh air.
6. Identify possible solutions. When expressing your anger, discuss possible solutions that would improve the current circumstances.
7. Stick with “I" statements. When you own your thoughts or feelings, the person hearing you does not feel attacked and can focus on your needs.
8. Don’t hold a grudge. Actively seek to rid your mind of grudges that lead to stress, irritability, and frustration. You can do that with stress management techniques, such as meditation.
9. Use humor to release tension. Never lose your sense of humor. Humor is a great stress-buster and so much of our anger is rooted in stress.
10. Practice relaxation skills. The more relaxed we are, the more we are able to tolerate events that normally trigger us into anger. Stress management also helps in decreasing the intensity of angry feelings. There are many stress management techniques. Some of my favorites are deep breathing, mindfulness, and meditation.
11.Know when to seek help. There are many resources for anger management. Many therapists specialize in this as well.